If Loving You Was Easy . . .

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by Jeff Foerster

Jesus said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

There it is: Love God. Love your neighbor. And implied in the second commandment, love yourself. Yeah. Okay. Wait. What?

If you were at the Men’s retreat a few weeks ago, you heard these three pieces of counsel. The first two commands are citations of Deuteronomy and Leviticus that Jesus spoke to the Pharisees. The third, love yourself, may sound weird and even liable to be abused, given our sinful condition, but it is necessary to be healthy. So how exactly does one love oneself well?

True love embraces truth. The truth is that each of us is a dirty, rotten sinner. If you like theological terms, think total depravity. If not, understand that each aspect of our being, our heart, our soul, and our mind has been corrupted by sin. As they say, I am not as bad as I could be, and I may not be the worst rascal out there, but there is no part of me that is untainted or untouched by sin.

I don’t sound very lovable as the truth sheds light on my condition. And I don’t feel much like loving others, or God for that matter, when I just want to run and hide—Adam and Eve, anyone? But for God. God comes near, and because He loved me first, I can love Him and my neighbor. My standing has been changed; I have been redeemed and remade—no longer a sinner, now a saint.

From this position I can love myself well. From this perspective and by the power of the Holy Spirit living through me, I can love myself well.

Nuts and bolts. Brass tacks. What’s it all about, man?! I am not about to create a picture of chowing down on bonbons, leisure days at the spa, or week long retreats to hot springs near Icelandic villas frequented by hipsters trying to “find themselves” or “lose themselves” or find their “lost selves.” Instead, if I am to love myself well, I will take the long view of things, the eternal view. Instead of indulgence, I will choose sacrifice, and I will like it. “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain which he cannot lose.” Jim Elliot, a Christian missionary, gave us that quote to consider. He speaks of salvation, but also for consideration are the eternal rewards for faithful and faith-filled living here and now.

Three pragmatic points to ponder:

Self-Control

The Scriptures lay out that acting in harmony (love) with the Spirit will produce self-control. In practical terms, it means not getting drunk or high, spending or eating excessively, or engaging in any number of other sins. Loving oneself is not indulgence—it’s sacrifice, for our own good (not to mention the positive effects which others around us experience).

Temple

All who are born-again Christians are dwelling places of God. Care for our bodies and minds is important. Our temples are to be well kept, prepared for purpose, but not as an end in themselves. We are not to run ourselves ragged out of a misguided sense of “sacrifice.” Not caring for my body’s need for rest, healthy food, or mental downtime is abuse, not a measure of my efficiency or a cause for admiration from others.

Focus

Loving myself means having life’s priorities clear. Jesus comes first. First in time, first in hope, first in authority, etc. This helps me weather life’s storms and simply helps me experience life in the way I was created to live it. It means setting aside the remote, the keypad, the phone and spending time with the God I say I love.

So, I invite you: love yourself, but love yourself well. Give yourself the very best. Your relationship with God will blossom, and as you sacrifice those second-rate indulgences, those around you will be blessed.

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