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Tell Me What You See and How You Feel

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By Martin Schlomer

“Children, honor your parents.” “Wives, submit to your husbands.” “Slaves, obey your earthly masters.” These commands in Ephesians 5 and 6 are some of the most inflammatory commands in the New Testament. Why? It is true that we don’t want anyone telling us what to do, but there is more to it. We all have horror stories of those who were in authority who hurt us deeply, betrayed our trust, used their authority for their own purposes. The stories and the hurt can go on and on.

Most people who are in authority—husbands and parents—do not intend to use their authority to hurt those they love. I know that I did not intend to hurt those I love, but it happened, nonetheless. Where do we go wrong? I could spend pages tackling this question, but I want to draw our attention to one thing: empathy.

What is empathy? Brené Brown, research professor with the Graduate College of Social Work at the University of Houston, wisely points out that empathy connects human beings together. There are four qualities of empathy:

  • Perspective taking, or the ability to take the perspective of another person
  • Staying out of judgment
  • Recognizing the emotions in other people
  • Communicating and validating those emotions

All of these are essential if we are going to be able to right the wrongs and heal the wounds mentioned above. They are also essential if we are going to lead well and be worthy of the honor Paul references in these and other passages. As those entrusted with authority, we must “feel with people.” We must see and feel the world from their perspective if we are to love and lead others well.

Does this surprise us? Shouldn’t we simply be able to “truth people” into honoring and following those in authority? Absolutely not! Jesus, Immanuel, God with us, engaged us in our world, on our turf. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are” (Hebrews 4:15). Jesus embodied all four qualities of empathy with those who were openhearted toward Him—and many who weren’t! His leadership was “gentle and humble in heart” (Matthew 11:29).

Parents, do your children find you gentle and humble in heart? Husbands, does your wife find rest and safety for her soul under your leadership? Does she find you to be an empathetic person? When leadership leads without empathy, everyone goes to some very dark places. Take the time to ask your spouse or children to tell you what they see and how they feel.

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Joy in the Midst of Uncertainty

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by Brian Waple

(NOTE: This Last Word would not have been possible without the help of my wife, Cindy Waple!)

The past few days have been a real blessing in that we’ve had some warm weather, which helps me anticipate the coming of spring and the relief from a harsh winter. I can imagine it’s not unlike the joy the early disciples felt in Jesus’s presence and in being partakers in His ministry, seeing Him as the One who would free them from the oppressive Roman occupation. However, I have witnessed enough springs in my lifetime to know that today’s warmth and sunshine can easily change to clouds and rain tomorrow, maybe even snow. And in a few weeks we will remember how the disciples’ joy turned to despair and uncertainty as they watched the One they had placed their hope in die on a cross.

Anticipating their uncertainty, Jesus went out of His way to tell His disciples what was coming. He prayed on their behalf (John 17). Knowing what was coming and knowing how they would react, He told them several times what would happen to him (Matthew 16:21; Mark 10:32–34; Luke 9:21–22; John 12:23–33). As I’m sure it was hard for them to understand and believe, I have my moments in which uncertainly leads to unbelief. But during times of uncertainty, I know it is only the truth of Jesus’s words that keep me focused on Him and give me a measure of joy.

In addition, Jesus cast a vision for the disciples that through Him, they would be accepted into a new kingdom. This new kingdom would be a place of eternal joy in His presence. As I sit in my uncertainty, I recall the words of John as he describes this new kingdom in Revelation:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.” (Revelation 21:1–7)

Reflecting on that, I can look at my uncertainty with new eyes, knowing that my present reality is not God’s reality.

What uncertainty are you facing today? What is causing you feelings of anxiousness and worry? Where do you see your belief slipping into unbelief? How do Jesus’s words of hope comfort you in your uncertainty? In Christ, we have reason to experience joy, even though we are not completely certain what is coming. In the not knowing, we can accept through faith His promise to us.

May we all enjoy the sun and warmth of today and trust that tomorrow’s rain and clouds can never take away the joy of Jesus’s eternal promises of hope, healing, and renewed life.

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Going with Church

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by Jeff Foerster

How many times did you go with church last week, last month?

“Oh, I go to church usually once a week, sometimes twice. And, by the way, you made a grammatical mistake in that question you asked.”

Actually, I didn’t. We go with church when we cross the street to visit a neighbor. We go with church when we share barbecue with a believing friend at Po-Boy on Meridian. We go with church when we interact with local librarians, store employees, police officers, and DMV workers. We go with church when engaging with homeless folks. We go with church when visiting those in the hospital. We go with church when we go out into the world. We go out into the world when we do so with purpose, from a position as God’s fellow workers by grace through Jesus Christ. We do so with purpose when our desire is to share the love Christ has given us with others in our community, with current believers, and especially with those who don’t yet know Jesus.

Is this some sloppy or ethereal notion of “church” I am foisting upon you? In ancient Israel, God revealed Himself in the Holy of Holies, in the inner part of the Temple, to one person, on one day each year, and that only after a great amount of purifying ritual was performed. In our present age, we are given access to God through Christ Jesus. And more than that, each follower of Jesus has been given the Holy Spirit to dwell within them, 24/7 and 365 days a year—constant access. We are each members of the body of Christ, the Church, and where we go, He goes with us; God dwells in His church.

Going out, we bring the church to the world. We bring freedom to those in slavery. We bring light to those living in darkness. We bring the very presence of God to dwell alongside those without hope in this world. We are to be on mission—every one of us.

But we can go into the world choosing to clothe ourselves so as not to be seen. We can avoid scrutiny by blending in and valuing an average American lifestyle of comfort and selfish preoccupation. But that is not who followers of Christ are. As Brian Sharpe reminded us this last Sunday, we are lights made to shine ever more brightly in a world growing dim.

Going anywhere with church this week?

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Measure of Success

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By Brian Sharpe

The measure of success is not about who you know or what you have accomplished in life—it is our faithfulness to live out the ways of God.

Solomon, in terms of accomplishing many things during his life span, was not very successful. He came to the end of his life and wrote that everything he had accomplished was “meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” He was a man who didn’t say no too often to his personal desires, and that ultimately was meaningless. At the end of his life, he wrote these words: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). All that matters is our faithfulness to God. We cannot control the outcomes, but what we do control is our faithfulness to live out the ways of the Lord.

            Now contrast Paul with Solomon. Paul was told when he came to Christ that he was going to have to suffer, and that is what happened. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-27, he says:

Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked.

Paul suffered a lot, but he was faithful to live as God has asked him to live.

            When we look at our life, how do we define success? How do we define what matters most? Do we have the same definition as God does? God has called all of us to be faithful to live in obedience to Him, and He will take care of the rest. We are called to faithfulness with no backup plan. What I mean by that is that we live out the ways of God without concern for the outcomes. We give of our time, money, and talents, allowing them to be used by God without expectation of what we will get in return. We already know the outcome: we get to spend eternity with Christ in Heaven. We may not know how God is going to use us and our faithfulness on this earth, but what we do know is that He calls us all to be faithful. We need to spend some time and ask ourselves if we are being faithful to the call God has placed on our lives. Success in the Christian is measured by faithfulness, so let’s be faithful. We are all seeking to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”!

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