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Manage the Family. Well …

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by Brian Waple

When our kids were growing up, we took very seriously our responsibility for raising them well (as good Christian parents should). We made sure they attended church every week; tried our best to get them into Sunday school as often as we could; said grace together before most meals; incorporated family prayer times; scrutinized the music, television, and videos they were exposed to; got them involved in Christian activities and events; bought all the Adventures in Odyssey tapes; read all the recommended “Raising a Christian Family” books; and tried our best to model what we thought was appropriate and biblical Christian behavior. So, you can imagine our surprise (and our sense of failure/grief) when, as young adults and able to make their own choices, they both walked away from the church. What did we do wrong?

Brian spoke about our responsibility as parents to be an influence on our kids, love our kids, teach and train our kids, nurture our kids, and provide for our kids. This is a monumental task of love … and, if you’re like us, you feel an immense burden when trying to make all this happen on your own for the kingdom of God. But there was something else Brian said … WE NEED HELP! Amen, and again I say, AMEN! In spite of what we may or may not do, we as parents have to trust that God, working through the Holy Spirit and the community of believers, will reach our kids in His way and in His time. In our own power (even with the help of VeggieTales), we can’t “save” them. As much as we want our kids to place their trust in Jesus, it won’t happen until God does a work in them through the Holy Spirit. I didn’t always know that, but I feel that immense burden lifted and a sense of relief when I pray for my sons and place my sons (now men) in God’s hands and trust that He will work His will in their lives.

Brian is absolutely right — God has given us the responsibility, as parents, for doing what we can so that our kids are brought up to know and love God; to understand Christ’s birth, life, death, and resurrection; and to believe that God loves them and wants them with Him forever. But in spite of our loving them, influencing them, training them, nurturing them, and providing for them, our kids may reject God and Christianity. But the hope we have as parents is knowing that God loves them and seeks to bring them to Himself. We still need to do our part. But just remember: in spite of our best intentions and everything we may or may not do, thankfully, God is still in control.

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Cherish Your Spouse

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by Jeff Foerster

Cherish your spouse, read the Bible, pray before meals, pick up the socks, vacuum the house, mow the lawn, pay the bills, and cook the dinner—check, check, check. Does cherishing your spouse sound like another task to accomplish? Does the idea grab your attention today, but get lost in the busyness of life? You may pay special attention to your spouse and find just the right gift or the right words written on the perfect card, or plan time spent together, or complete tasks, each kindness crafted according to their love language. These generosities may blossom from a desire for good.

You’ve engaged in those activities, you’ve understood that “loving” means more than words, that it is followed up by actions, and still something feels like it’s missing. Doing these things does not complete your relationship or satisfy your desire for connection. If this description rings true, questions must be asked, questions that must be answered.

Are both I and my spouse engaged in the desire to cherish each other?

Do I know my husband’s/wife’s “love language”?

What action will I take this week to communicate love to my spouse?

The list of questions could be longer, and you may be able to affirmatively answer each, but still, something is lacking. Maybe that something is depth of relationship . . . but not with your spouse.

Walk with me on a theological path for a moment. When God made man, man was made in the image of God; he is a reflection of the Creator. When God created us male and female, He made us different, equal in worth and honor to one another. This created relationship, an intimacy of fellowship that is a reflection of the fellowship that God has in the Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Among mankind, nowhere is this intimacy greater than in the marriage relationship, a reflection of the coming marriage between the Lamb, Jesus Christ, and His Church, the body of believers made holy by Him.

Our earthly relationships are to reflect heavenly ones. Earthly relationships are images of heavenly relationships, shadows, not the substance themselves. As such, marital relationships were never meant to take the place of relationship with our Father in Heaven. Our spouse cannot satisfy our deepest longings. As Martin stated on Sunday, we are to pursue growing deeply in understanding who I am and Whose I am. This perspective forms a framework for my soul, a passion for life, growing in my true identity.

The Scriptures tell us that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, too, out of the overflow of the individual’s relationship with God, the spouse is blessed, the spouse is cherished. Trusting God’s love and embracing Him fixes our eyes on Jesus and builds us to be people who carry God’s love to others. The love brought to us and placed upon us through Jesus is a cup that when shared does not grow empty.

David’s exaltation of God in Psalm 19 fits well here. In it he proclaims relationship with the LORD as life-giving, restoring the soul. David also acknowledges he has “hidden faults.” Bringing these to light is the work of God, accomplished in relationship with Him. Ask God to show you your “hidden faults” as they pertain to relationship with others, most notably your spouse.

Developing this relationship with God is essential to cherishing your spouse. Attempting to love your spouse well on your own will exhaust you—but our Lord Jesus, by His power and might and fellowship, will strengthen you. Draw near to God, my dearly beloved, and He will draw near to you.

 

 

 

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Why Do Kids Hate Medicine?

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by Brian Sharpe

When Ellice was really young, she didn’t like taking medicine (she still doesn’t like to take it).  She would fight us, even though what we were giving her was going to make her feel better.  She would kick and scream and get herself so worked up that she would be drenched in sweat. And sometimes I’m like this with God.

Throughout my life, I have asked God to change me and make me more like Himself.  This prayer was sincere, but it was prayed with the thought that God was going to press a button up in Heaven and when that button was pressed, I would be fixed.

The older I get, the more I realize that this is not how God works.  He allows us to walk through stuff for us to learn to trust and allow Him to work in ways we didn’t even know we needed.  James 1 says that the testing of our faith leads to perseverance, and perseverance leads to maturity.  It is the perseverance that I don’t like.  I am “okay” with the testing of my faith, as along as it leads to maturity, but I am not okay with it leading to perseverance.  The problem is, maturity doesn’t come without perseverance.

Moses is a great example of this.  In Joshua 1, Moses is talked about as a servant of God.  God was with Moses and used Moses.  Moses had to go through a lot in his life, which led to perseverance and, ultimately, maturity.  The same can be said of Job, Peter, Paul, Elijah, and Elisha, to name a few.

We often forget when reading the stories of the Old Testament that time is passing.  These heroes of the faith aren’t instantly heroes; they go through tough stuff, persevere through it, and come out mature. The saying that “God doesn’t waste pain” is such a true one.  God allows stuff in our life, and we can either grow in maturity or let it debilitate us because of fear.  The book of Joshua talks about how the people in the Promised Land were debilitated by fear because they knew that the God who created the universe was on the nation of Israel’s side.  They feared Him because of the stories they had heard about how God had protected His people.  We need to remember the ways the Lord has protected us throughout our life so that when tough times come, we will remember He is with us.

When the nation of Israel was crossing the Jordan River into the Promised Land, God stopped the flow of the river so that they could cross on dry land.  Once everyone was across, God had Joshua pick 12 men to grab 12 stones in order to build a monument of remembrance, so that when their children would see the monument and ask what it was from, they could tell the stories of how God was with them.  We need our 12 stone monuments.  We need to remember that God is with us and wants to protect and grow us into mature followers of Himself.  This happens by the testing of our faith, which leads to perseverance and, ultimately, maturity.  Sometimes the very thing we need is the thing we don’t want, but in the end, it will bring us to the place where we want to be.

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Sifting Rocks and Pulling Weeds

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by Dan Amos

I live on South Hill, so I am very familiar with rocks. We’ve landscaped with rocks mostly dug up from planting things, putting in a fence, etc. I’ve even developed a tool to help me separate rocks from the dirt. It sifts the dirt and leaves the rocks and weeds to separate into buckets. I’m pretty sure my wife thinks I’m crazy, but I get satisfaction out of taking a mess and coming out with a bucket of just rocks to add to the landscaping. The process is simple and gives me time to think, and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is this process as a metaphor for what Martin and Brian have been teaching.

Jesus was the ultimate evangelist. He had His discipleship ministry with a small number of people and He had His larger teaching and preaching ministry with the crowds. In Mark 4, he was speaking to a crowd from a boat on the lake about the soils as a metaphor for how his teaching would be received differently by people.

Some would hear and become mature disciples, while others would hear and not produce fruit because of Satan, failure to embrace what they heard, or distraction by the things of life. This last Sunday, Brian moved the thought along to those who embraced the Word and matured as disciples. He used the qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy 3 as markers of maturity for all Christians.

How did they get to this point? Were they just blessed from the beginning with the circumstances to allow belief and growth? Maybe partially, but they were cultivated. Maturing in faith is a community process. The pastors and leadership are charged with protecting the church, reinforcing the Word first heard, and protecting the hearers from being snatched away or failing to grow.

The rocks have to be removed. Disciple people to put down roots. Remove the rocks of infidelity, anger, drunkenness, and greed and replace them with a love of others and God’s Word.

Weeds are stubborn things. In Jesus’s parable, weeds are the worries of this life that choke out our spiritual growth. Some of them can actually look nice, but they will choke out good plants and take over. It can even seem noble to carry the burdens of others, but we have to guard against letting others’ life choices choke out our own spiritual life. Paul mentioned false teachers and specific individuals in 1 Timothy 1 and talked about distractions in chapter 2. Repeatedly throughout 1 Timothy, he talks about the things that pull us away from the truth and he exhorts Timothy to persevere and counter those who sow discord.

It’s about cultivation. Work the soil and make it a healthy place to grow.

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you 14 to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

1 Timothy 6:11-16

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