Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:15-17, NIV)
Thankfulness begins in our heart. What our mind, mouth and actions speak our heart says first: A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45). When life goes well it can be easy to respond out of thankfulness and in agreement with others, but what happens when life does not go well? When there are challenging circumstances or disagreements that rise up within us, how do you respond? Do you respond with a thankful heart full of grace and love; a heart full of unforgiveness, judgment and condemnation; or a heart full of anxiety and fear? When faced with a wound or hurt do you easily forgive, or do you hold onto that hurt like a child’s security blanket that has been weathered to the point of disrepair? It is not what happens to us that matters, it is how we respond in our hearts, because our words and actions are an expression of our heart. The heart is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23), and the Lord sees the heart.
The Lord is clear in His word on how we are to respond: Love! Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). But what if it is hard to love others when we are faced with those challenges and conflicts? First, we have a mighty Father who wants to do this in us. He wants to be a part of our brokenness, for us to be willing to look deep into our hearts with Him for the unforgiveness and judgments we may have in our hearts from childhood to today. Why?
Because if we do not forgive, we are not forgiven. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness is not excusing the offense, forgetting, denying the hurt or anger, or trusting the offender. Forgiveness is remitting the punishment or canceling the debt – a work of God’s grace in our lives.
We should also bring past and present judgments to an end, because we are judged in the same way if we don’t. Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:1-2). Have you ever wondered why you might be just like your mother or father, in a negative way? Could it be judgment? Just in case you were not sure what judgment is, it’s a sinful reaction to hurt – condemning those who hurt us about what they have done and about who they are.
The good news? We have a big God who wants to partner with us and heal us from the inside out. He wants to heal our hearts so our mourning can turn into joy (Jeremiah 31:13), so we can embrace the life He has given us and be thankful for our lives even in the midst of pain. Our Father cannot violate free will, but He is there weeping with you, angry for you. His heart breaks over you. What was intended for evil He wants to use for good, but we must be willing to go into the deep places of our hearts, invite Him in and address those wounds.
We are all sinners in desperate need of a Savior who died on the Cross and was resurrected after three days for all humanity. Let’s take our unforgiveness, judgments and hurts to the Cross, reckoning them dead so that we can have new life. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood (Hebrews 12: 4). All suffering is meaningful when it is met with love and the resisting of sin.
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