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Relationships That Are Worth Having

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By Jim DeAngelo

A brief word on my experience and growth in sharing my front and back stage with others. The process for me was long and involved.

I wish my historical lack of sharing was because I found no one of sufficient character to fit this position in my life or that I had no close friends to encourage me. Neither of these were true. What has happened to me has occurred over a period of time. I had to see myself for who I was: a person with many flaws who could only grow in my walk and character through the work of the cross. This had to go beyond an intellectual exercise. I had to understand in my heart that who Christ said I was, is, in fact, who I am. That it was okay if others accepted me or not and I could lose the fear that if they knew me, they would then reject me. That I needed to show myself better than I really was.

I found that protecting myself was more important than the risk of rejection. What I didn’t understand was that to risk rejection was the first step to real relationships with those who would make a difference in my life. The kind I wanted to talk into my life and I into theirs. We all have blind spots. The areas I was afraid to share, I already knew that the Holy Spirit wanted to change, but I wasn’t sure how to let Him. The areas I didn’t know were even more important. I was protective of myself and, therefore, not honest with myself.

The best prayers I have ever prayed were to ask God to change me to be the best husband, father, grandfather, friend, and follower of Christ I could be. I asked God to show me how to change. Through these prayers, God opened my heart to the change process and the work of the cross. I found a new, changed heart and could share the real me with the appropriate individuals, and the transformation has accelerated. Without this sharing, my progress was much slower. I now find myself in relationships that shared with me and I with them, and I understand more and more what it means to have a closer walk with God.

Some of this learning has been a process. When I am afraid for any reason, I ask God for help to change me to meet this challenge. I never ask God to remove the source of the problem; we are to be overcomers, not avoiders. Removing pretense (fear of sharing my story) is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. This has removed the fear of rejection and allowed me to pray and share with integrity and with pure motives. It is no longer about me. My knowledge, trust, acceptance, and assurance in Christ have grown significantly (though I have a lot more learning yet to come). I have significant friends and individuals in my life who are enriching me in ways I could not even have imagined a few years ago.

Start the process today and pray for God’s help in your life to be who He designed you to be. Expect it, anticipate it, trust in God and His word about who you are. Find those who can share with you about our walk with Christ and our walk with each other.

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Gumballs and Other Gifts

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By Nate Champneys

Gift

As a father of three young children (ages 6, 4, and 2), God often teaches me and parents me through the experiences with my own children. I wanted to share a recent lesson with you.

I try to take my children on regular “daddy dates.” On daddy dates, I get alone time with each of my kids and get to focus on connecting with just them. Sometimes we go to the park and play on the playground; other times we go to a restaurant. One time we went down to the creek and made paper boats and sailed them down the creek.

But their favorite place is the dollar store. Once in a while I take them there and let them pick one item.

If you want to test your patience, try taking a 4-year-old little girl to the dollar store and tell her to pick just one thing! It generally takes about 20 minutes, and it usually ends with us standing in the checkout line … then her deciding that, after 20 minutes of going back and forth, she would rather have the item right there in the checkout line. It’s funny; I often have to coach her past certain items or even tell her “No” when she chooses an item, because I know that, even though it is what she wants at this moment, it will break quickly, or she will not enjoy it as much as another thing. Sometimes she might say, “But, Daddy, I really want a gumball from the machine!” So I’ll reply, “I know, honey, but look over here — instead of getting just one gumball, you could get a whole bag of gumballs!”

The last time this happened, it occurred to me: “I wonder if this is how God feels, as He listens to us pray?” We beg Him for something that He knows will not be good for us, or He has something better that He wants to give to us instead. We can get so upset because we are not getting the thing that we think that we want, when the reality is that our Father in heaven knows exactly what we need and is also a Father who loves to give His children good gifts.

Is there something that you keep asking God for that He has not yet given you? Perhaps you are asking for a gumball, when He knows that, at the back of the store, there is a whole bag of gumballs He would like to give you!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

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God Is There in the Little Things

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By Jim DeAngelo

Our grandson Elijah has been without work for several months and, as is typical of grandparents, we (Sandra and I) have started to get concerned about his future and job prospects. With this as background, Sandra took Elijah out to dinner to Black Angus here in Puyallup to have an opportunity to spend some time with him the same evening Ralph Webb and I returned from a fishing trip to Montana (and yes, the trip was great fun and we did catch some fish).

During the evening meal, they discussed what Elijah wanted to do for a job and his desire to work in a restaurant. When the meal was completed and they were walking out to the car, Sandra reminded Elijah about getting an application. Elijah returned to the restaurant, talked with the manager, and got an application. When they returned from the restaurant, Elijah completed the application and Sandra prayed with Elijah that the Lord would bless the job application and that, if it was His will, Elijah would get what God wanted. Elijah dropped off the application later that evening.

Elijah did receive an invitation to interview, which he did, though he had some concerns on how it all went. Elijah called me on Monday and informed me that he had received and accepted a job offer for the position he had wanted. I shouted “Praise God for answered prayer!” Elijah was very excited, as he had been applying at fast food restaurants, which are not as good an opportunity.

I love how we can take all things to God in prayer. Psalm 116:1 says, “I love Jehovah because He hears my voice and my prayers.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says to “pray without ceasing.” I know that God is intimately involved in our lives. Jesus says in Matthew 6:8 that “your Father knows what things you have need of, before you ask Him.” We find it helpful to meditate on God’s goodness to us and how we can always rely on Him in the big things of life as well as the little things. We find that when we take the little things to God in prayer and see Him working in our lives, when those big things come, we have increased faith in His response, because He is always faithful, even in the little things of life.

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Time Out

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By Brian Waple

At times, we come to a place where everything around us seems busy, hurried, and urgent, and it’s hard to be mindful of God’s presence and the peace His presence brings.  Admittedly, I have been in that place many times, as I’m sure we all have. When that happens, it’s important to remember to take time out from whatever we’re doing and just simply reflect on God’s Word, taking from His Word the reassurance that comes from knowing He loves us and will never leave us.

Recently, I was reflecting on Psalm 23, the psalm which Charles Spurgeon once called “David’s Heavenly Pastoral.” It is a psalm that to me is uplifting, encouraging, and reassuring. It brings hope.

I don’t know what you’re going through, but I would ask that you take a moment right now and just read through the psalm. Savor each phrase. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you through the reading.

“The Lord is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

    He leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid,

    for You are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

    My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” (NLT)

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14, NLT)

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Ponder

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By Brian Waple

“Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure” (Proverbs 4:26, ESV). Cindy mentioned this verse to me the other day, and as I think about it, I believe God is showing me that I need to spend some time reflecting on what it means. For the longest time, I’ve been trying to determine what God’s will is for my life. Let me be clear: I’ve been trying to determine what God’s will is for my life. Notice the emphasis on what I’ve been trying to do. What I haven’t been doing is humbly coming before Him in prayer and seeking His will.

I think that’s what Solomon is saying when he uses the word “ponder.” To ponder means “to consider something deeply and thoroughly.” As believers, we are called to give ourselves and our lives over to God, both deeply and thoroughly. In doing so, we bring Him glory and honor, which is what true worship is all about. And, it is only in seeking God, and purposefully living our lives in alignment with His will, that “our ways will be sure.”

I was reading something the other day that said “our deepest belonging is to God; all other belongings in life flow from that.” In pondering the path of our feet and the journey we all take, we must begin with God and seeking where God would have us to go. Where we flow from that will be bathed within His will. And that will make all the difference.

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Looking Ahead

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by Stan Peterson

Looking ahead to 2013, many of us have already started to plan and set goals and look forward to what we want to see accomplished in our personal lives, the lives of our families, and in the life of our Church. We envision what we will be doing and where we will be going, and this creates an expectation within our hearts — a yearning for those things to come to pass. We slowly but surely transfer our passion (time, energy and money) towards those goal(s).

As God sovereignly directs our lives and the path that we walk down (Proverbs 16:9), we are faced with choices. Will we choose to surrender our rights and our plans to follow God’s sovereign plan as it unfolds before us … or to continue in our ways? The greater the difference between our thoughts and plans, and God’s, the greater the disappointment we face.

In the book of Isaiah we see Israel and Judah (the split kingdom) being chastised for their thinking (Isaiah 55). The walls of Jerusalem had been remade and the Temple reconstructed, yet we see a nation that is still divided and held in captivity. The Jew thought that the Messiah would come and be set up as king in the Holy City, reigning with all authority and power, and the people of Israel would prosper physically. But this was not happening. Why? Thus Israel had a choice to either become hardened and indifferent to the ways of God, or to repent and believe in God’s goodness and plans (Isaiah 55:7).

How do we as a people chosen by God know the thoughts of God, the will of God? Just as God called to Israel through the Prophet Isaiah to remember His promises, that He is a God who is near, and His word will accomplish what He has sent it to do (Isaiah 55.11), so too we have the Word of God given to us in a book, the Bible. Let this sink into our minds … it is profound: We have the very words of life given to us! This should shake us to the core and give us great hope and confidence.

With the Spirit, meditating on God’s Word, we may through prayer commune with God and know His thoughts and speak them back to God (1 Cor. 2:16).

My hope and prayer for us at Elim is that we would grab hold of God’s Word and prayer in ever greater measure throughout the course of 2013; that our hearts would be lined up with His, and that we would be a reflection of Jesus to all we come into contact with, no matter the circumstances or situation that God has sovereignly placed us into!

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