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Cherish Your Spouse

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by Jeff Foerster

Cherish your spouse, read the Bible, pray before meals, pick up the socks, vacuum the house, mow the lawn, pay the bills, and cook the dinner—check, check, check. Does cherishing your spouse sound like another task to accomplish? Does the idea grab your attention today, but get lost in the busyness of life? You may pay special attention to your spouse and find just the right gift or the right words written on the perfect card, or plan time spent together, or complete tasks, each kindness crafted according to their love language. These generosities may blossom from a desire for good.

You’ve engaged in those activities, you’ve understood that “loving” means more than words, that it is followed up by actions, and still something feels like it’s missing. Doing these things does not complete your relationship or satisfy your desire for connection. If this description rings true, questions must be asked, questions that must be answered.

Are both I and my spouse engaged in the desire to cherish each other?

Do I know my husband’s/wife’s “love language”?

What action will I take this week to communicate love to my spouse?

The list of questions could be longer, and you may be able to affirmatively answer each, but still, something is lacking. Maybe that something is depth of relationship . . . but not with your spouse.

Walk with me on a theological path for a moment. When God made man, man was made in the image of God; he is a reflection of the Creator. When God created us male and female, He made us different, equal in worth and honor to one another. This created relationship, an intimacy of fellowship that is a reflection of the fellowship that God has in the Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Among mankind, nowhere is this intimacy greater than in the marriage relationship, a reflection of the coming marriage between the Lamb, Jesus Christ, and His Church, the body of believers made holy by Him.

Our earthly relationships are to reflect heavenly ones. Earthly relationships are images of heavenly relationships, shadows, not the substance themselves. As such, marital relationships were never meant to take the place of relationship with our Father in Heaven. Our spouse cannot satisfy our deepest longings. As Martin stated on Sunday, we are to pursue growing deeply in understanding who I am and Whose I am. This perspective forms a framework for my soul, a passion for life, growing in my true identity.

The Scriptures tell us that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, too, out of the overflow of the individual’s relationship with God, the spouse is blessed, the spouse is cherished. Trusting God’s love and embracing Him fixes our eyes on Jesus and builds us to be people who carry God’s love to others. The love brought to us and placed upon us through Jesus is a cup that when shared does not grow empty.

David’s exaltation of God in Psalm 19 fits well here. In it he proclaims relationship with the LORD as life-giving, restoring the soul. David also acknowledges he has “hidden faults.” Bringing these to light is the work of God, accomplished in relationship with Him. Ask God to show you your “hidden faults” as they pertain to relationship with others, most notably your spouse.

Developing this relationship with God is essential to cherishing your spouse. Attempting to love your spouse well on your own will exhaust you—but our Lord Jesus, by His power and might and fellowship, will strengthen you. Draw near to God, my dearly beloved, and He will draw near to you.

 

 

 

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Why Do Kids Hate Medicine?

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by Brian Sharpe

When Ellice was really young, she didn’t like taking medicine (she still doesn’t like to take it).  She would fight us, even though what we were giving her was going to make her feel better.  She would kick and scream and get herself so worked up that she would be drenched in sweat. And sometimes I’m like this with God.

Throughout my life, I have asked God to change me and make me more like Himself.  This prayer was sincere, but it was prayed with the thought that God was going to press a button up in Heaven and when that button was pressed, I would be fixed.

The older I get, the more I realize that this is not how God works.  He allows us to walk through stuff for us to learn to trust and allow Him to work in ways we didn’t even know we needed.  James 1 says that the testing of our faith leads to perseverance, and perseverance leads to maturity.  It is the perseverance that I don’t like.  I am “okay” with the testing of my faith, as along as it leads to maturity, but I am not okay with it leading to perseverance.  The problem is, maturity doesn’t come without perseverance.

Moses is a great example of this.  In Joshua 1, Moses is talked about as a servant of God.  God was with Moses and used Moses.  Moses had to go through a lot in his life, which led to perseverance and, ultimately, maturity.  The same can be said of Job, Peter, Paul, Elijah, and Elisha, to name a few.

We often forget when reading the stories of the Old Testament that time is passing.  These heroes of the faith aren’t instantly heroes; they go through tough stuff, persevere through it, and come out mature. The saying that “God doesn’t waste pain” is such a true one.  God allows stuff in our life, and we can either grow in maturity or let it debilitate us because of fear.  The book of Joshua talks about how the people in the Promised Land were debilitated by fear because they knew that the God who created the universe was on the nation of Israel’s side.  They feared Him because of the stories they had heard about how God had protected His people.  We need to remember the ways the Lord has protected us throughout our life so that when tough times come, we will remember He is with us.

When the nation of Israel was crossing the Jordan River into the Promised Land, God stopped the flow of the river so that they could cross on dry land.  Once everyone was across, God had Joshua pick 12 men to grab 12 stones in order to build a monument of remembrance, so that when their children would see the monument and ask what it was from, they could tell the stories of how God was with them.  We need our 12 stone monuments.  We need to remember that God is with us and wants to protect and grow us into mature followers of Himself.  This happens by the testing of our faith, which leads to perseverance and, ultimately, maturity.  Sometimes the very thing we need is the thing we don’t want, but in the end, it will bring us to the place where we want to be.

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Sifting Rocks and Pulling Weeds

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by Dan Amos

I live on South Hill, so I am very familiar with rocks. We’ve landscaped with rocks mostly dug up from planting things, putting in a fence, etc. I’ve even developed a tool to help me separate rocks from the dirt. It sifts the dirt and leaves the rocks and weeds to separate into buckets. I’m pretty sure my wife thinks I’m crazy, but I get satisfaction out of taking a mess and coming out with a bucket of just rocks to add to the landscaping. The process is simple and gives me time to think, and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is this process as a metaphor for what Martin and Brian have been teaching.

Jesus was the ultimate evangelist. He had His discipleship ministry with a small number of people and He had His larger teaching and preaching ministry with the crowds. In Mark 4, he was speaking to a crowd from a boat on the lake about the soils as a metaphor for how his teaching would be received differently by people.

Some would hear and become mature disciples, while others would hear and not produce fruit because of Satan, failure to embrace what they heard, or distraction by the things of life. This last Sunday, Brian moved the thought along to those who embraced the Word and matured as disciples. He used the qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy 3 as markers of maturity for all Christians.

How did they get to this point? Were they just blessed from the beginning with the circumstances to allow belief and growth? Maybe partially, but they were cultivated. Maturing in faith is a community process. The pastors and leadership are charged with protecting the church, reinforcing the Word first heard, and protecting the hearers from being snatched away or failing to grow.

The rocks have to be removed. Disciple people to put down roots. Remove the rocks of infidelity, anger, drunkenness, and greed and replace them with a love of others and God’s Word.

Weeds are stubborn things. In Jesus’s parable, weeds are the worries of this life that choke out our spiritual growth. Some of them can actually look nice, but they will choke out good plants and take over. It can even seem noble to carry the burdens of others, but we have to guard against letting others’ life choices choke out our own spiritual life. Paul mentioned false teachers and specific individuals in 1 Timothy 1 and talked about distractions in chapter 2. Repeatedly throughout 1 Timothy, he talks about the things that pull us away from the truth and he exhorts Timothy to persevere and counter those who sow discord.

It’s about cultivation. Work the soil and make it a healthy place to grow.

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you 14 to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

1 Timothy 6:11-16

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Hydrotropism and Christian Living

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By Bill Naron

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. (Psalm 1:1-3, KJV)

I absolutely love this verse, and I loved hearing Pastor Martin use it in his sermon on Sunday. I listened to the sermon Monday while my children were taking a nap. Following the sermon, I began to reflect upon this scripture. I was intrigued by the word meditation. When I see this word, the first thing that I think about is being quiet and reflective. But when we look closely at the scripture here, we see that they who meditate day and night become like a tree planted by rivers of water.

It is interesting to me that this is the idea presented by the psalmist. See, roots have this natural ability called hydrotropism, which is the roots’ ability to seek out and grow toward the water for nutrients and sustenance. This was where I found this to be so intriguing. Meditating is not just being in a quiet and prayerful, reflective state; the psalmist seems to be giving us this active meditation, an action that actively seeks sustenance for growth and fruitfulness.

I would say that in this Psalm we are seeing this idea which is like Psalm 42:1, where it says the psalmist’s soul longs after the Lord. See, I believe that while there is an appropriateness to sitting in solemn reflection upon the words of God, there are so many portions of scripture that equate the words of God to our sustenance, relating it to food and water.

The tree in this passage above was not fruitful and did not grow without action—the roots of the tree sought after the water. The root system had to move toward the water in order to draw out nutrients to help the tree grow and bear fruit. In the same way, you and I cannot just sit around and listen to the words being preached. We have to seek out the ways of Jesus. We have to consume the water of God’s Word, allowing it to penetrate into the roots of our lives, into our heart and soul. Meditation in this passage and in most cases is an activity we are called to participate in.

In Deuteronomy we are told to post the statutes of God on our doorposts and to basically saturate our homes and families with them. It is this same idea I feel is present in the psalmist’s mind when he is writing this passage. Meditating on these words is so important, I find rest and I find sustenance in them at all times. The words are on my lips and saturated into my life because I cannot get enough of the water that I am next to. And this is causing me to be transformed from the inside out, allowing our will to be changed from self-serving to God honoring, allowing us to have life that looks for ways to bring glory to the Father. This is the point at which we begin to become like this tree planted by rivers of water, the Word of God that gives life to all. We become fruitful.

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Finishing Well

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by Larry Short

Hopefully this doesn’t sound morbid, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of my life and the impact I might make on the people around me. Martin’s partly to blame for this. He’s been asking questions about people we know who finished well and why they had an impact on us. Another reason I’ve been thinking about finishing well is because last Sunday we celebrated the life of Darlene’s mother, Dotty, who passed a few months ago at the ripe age of 98. Like her husband Fred, who preceded her, she finished well.

Larry Short and Dotty French
Sharing a photo with Darlene’s mom, Dotty, on her 98th birthday celebration last November. Amazing to think she’s now reunited with Fred and walking with Jesus!

But what “finishing well” looked like for her was quite different from what it looked like for Fred and for other people I know who have finished well.

Fred wore his faith in Christ on his sleeve, so to speak. He shared openly about his relationship with Christ and urged all around him to follow Jesus. Outgoing and fearless, he was a talented salesman and a natural-born evangelist.

My own father was similar, but in different ways. He led three of his four sisters to Christ after he himself found Jesus while a student at Seattle Pacific University (where he met and married my mom, already a believer and instrumental in my dad’s salvation). He even led his own father to Christ when my grandpa was on his deathbed! My father was incredibly compassionate and generous. He loved to give and serve.

My own mom died of cancer at the age of 64. But she finished well. She had a vibrant faith in Christ, and was positive and encouraging until the day she died. My mom loved her family and her church well, and was incredibly committed to me becoming all God wanted me to be.

Darlene’s mom also lived to serve others: her husband, her husband’s clients, her kids, extended family, you name it. She wasn’t super outspoken about her own faith, but Christ could be seen in the way she cooked, cleaned, and catered to the needs of those around her.

Because of Martin’s questions, I’ve been thinking about many others you all probably knew and loved. The name Art Nissan is often mentioned when we talk about finishing well. Art was wise and godly, and he carefully nurtured his own connection to Christ. He was simple and humble; he shared his life with those he loved. He made an incredible impact in the lives of many in our church.

Helen Eash springs to my mind as another who finished well. Much like Darlene’s mom, she quietly served those around her and devoted her life to supporting her husband Harold and the many people they impacted on the mission field. Her love for people and for Christ was beyond doubt.

And then there was another man I think “finished well” even though he was very, very different from Art or Helen. Robert Lee was truly a diamond in the rough, far from perfect. A professional tattoo artist (and a good one), his early life was violent and dangerous. But after he found Christ and began attending Elim (his 45 revolver strapped to one leg!), he fearlessly began to change. He had a real and vital relationship with Christ, which he shared with those around him, including his friends from his “darker days.” Now he is dearly missed.

Finally, I would be remiss not to mention our dear friend Nancy Ide. She finished well, at too early an age, but the strength of her faith in Christ and the way she poured into others, even as she herself was being ravaged by cancer, was truly remarkable and praiseworthy.

I think about the things that each of these well-finishers shared in common, and I think if I truly seek to achieve the following four things, I, too, may stand a chance to finish well:

Devotion to Christ as their highest and most important relationship. Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind. People who finish well leave no doubt that their relationship with Jesus is their first and foremost priority.

They loved the people God placed in the path of their life. Jesus said, “And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Each of these people I mentioned were people whose love for others was indisputable. They honored others as more important than themselves and serve others wholeheartedly.

They were fearless. Scripture says “Perfect love casts out fear.” Love for God and faith in Him inspires us to be fearless. No matter what happens in our life, whether it’s the cancer that ravaged Nancy or Alzheimer’s as my dad experienced, God has our back, and there is no need to fear the future!

Like the faithful servant of Christ’s parable, they invested whatever gifts God gave them to bring Him glory. Too many people “retire.” My dad retired as the president of an industrial plant in Singapore when he was 55, and I (sort of) retired two years ago, at 60 (only to find myself drawn back to a ministry I really love at World Vision!); but those who finish well, I believe, never really retire. They keep on keepin’ on, with whatever strength they have that remains, using whatever gifts, talents, skills, and resources God has given them, investing these in the Kingdom of God and the lives of the people around them.

Losing loved ones to heaven is not really sad. The sad fact is that many among us, unfortunately, do not finish well. As a song I really appreciate says, “gravity is pulling me on down.” We get self-centered (instead of God- and others-centered), we get tired, we stop loving God and people well and serving with whatever means God has blessed us with. We may allow ourselves to grow fearful and complacent.

I’m constantly aware of the tendencies in my own life for gravity to pull me on down. Thankfully, every new day brings new opportunities for me to repent and recommit myself to the task of finishing well! And I’m also thankful for brothers and sisters in Christ who surround me and are willing to “hold my arms up” as I seek God’s strength to end my earthly story in a way that brings Him glory.

How about you?

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Celebrating Financial Faithfulness!

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Dear members and friends:

The Stewardship Team is committed to keeping you informed on a quarterly basis (or more often, if necessary) regarding Elim’s financial position. We are committed to transparency in times of scarcity and times of abundance. There is much to celebrate this year! Here is your update covering the first quarter (January through March) of 2018.

  • What is our year-to-date (YTD) budget (as of March 31)? – $83,823
  • What is our YTD giving to budget (as of March 31)? – $99,275
  • What are our YTD expenses (as of March 31)? – $76,970

What do these numbers mean?

  • We are $15,452 ahead of budget in terms of giving to budget! This is great news!
  • Our giving is $22,305 ahead of our expenses.
  • We are fully funding our Future Expansion Fund on a monthly basis.

What are our plans for the surplus in giving?

Since our mortgage was paid off in December 2013, we have been talking about the need to build another annex to house our growing children’s and youth ministries. We have been setting aside budgeted monies as well as surplus funds for the past five years to fund this need. As a result, we have approximately $70,000 set aside. The elders’ wish is to accelerate this plan and to contribute a large portion of our surplus to this need. We project that we will need approximately $250,000 to make these improvements. It is the Elder Board’s desire to meet this need in the next 12–18 months.

If you are able and willing to contribute to this critical need over and above your normal tithe, please do! All you have to do is designate your gift to the Future Expansion Fund.

Final Thoughts

The primary reason we give is because as followers of Jesus, we worship our Father, who is gracious and generous to all of us. One of the privileges He has given us is to be co-creators with Him in His Kingdom in this community. May this continue to motivate us to worship!

Do you have questions? Contact one of the Stewardship Team members: Dan Amos, Phil Pavey, Gregg Zimmerman, Willie Houze, or Martin Schlomer.

 

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