{"id":2436,"date":"2019-02-28T11:13:13","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T19:13:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/elimefc.com\/elimblog\/?p=2436"},"modified":"2020-12-13T16:45:47","modified_gmt":"2020-12-14T00:45:47","slug":"when-rejoicing-together-becomes-mourning-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elimefc.com\/elimblog\/?p=2436","title":{"rendered":"When Rejoicing Together Becomes Mourning Together"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Hannah Comerford<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On December 30, 2018, Jason and I learned we were parents,\nour baby due the next September.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In those few short weeks, we had planned to tell only a few\npeople. Yet the news was so long awaited and so unexpected. We were simply so\nfull of joy that we couldn\u2019t keep silent. Soon we\u2019d announced it to our closest\nfriends, our entire community group, the pastors and their wives, the elders. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We wanted others to rejoice with us, to celebrate with us the way Zacharias and Elizabeth\u2019s friends had celebrated the birth of John the Baptist<\/a>, the way Hannah celebrated the birth of her son Samuel<\/a>, the way Sarah and Abraham had rejoiced over their son Isaac<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d been told this probably wouldn\u2019t happen. And now it\nhad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And our friends rejoiced with us. With hugs and tears and\nencouragement and excited daydreaming. With squeals of joy and words of wisdom.\nWith the promise of a party when the secret was open, when everyone knew what\nthe Lord had done for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first three weeks of January became some of the best\nweeks of our life together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On January 22, 2019, we learned that our baby had died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At some point around the same time we had started\ncelebrating with our friends, our baby had stopped growing. My body did not\nrealize this, had continued to move along as though everything were normal, as\nif our celebration would end in a joyful delivery just like any other\nsuccessful pregnancy. When we saw our first ultrasound, an empty sac was all\nthat remained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A shame shadows the untelling of a pregnancy. In our\nculture, it\u2019s often hard to remember that a safe pregnancy and birth are not\nguaranteed, just as no one\u2019s next days are. Telling others that the very joy\nyou\u2019d celebrated not two days earlier was now no more, that you are reversing\nthe happiness they\u2019d had for you\u2014it makes sense why so many wait until their\npregnancy is \u201csafe\u201d before announcing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The last week of January became one of the worst weeks of\nour life together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a time when our church is already struggling with loss<\/a>\nand transition<\/a>,\nhow could we add another source of pain?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet that is what church is for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was little things that reflected this community: Text\nmessages reminding us they\u2019re praying for us. Buying toilet paper, Tylenol, and\nother household items so we didn\u2019t have to leave the house. Ordering meals to\nbe delivered. Cooking meals and dropping them off. Sitting and watching movies\nwith me to distract from the pain. Being ready to comfort and help at a\nmoment\u2019s notice, but giving space when we needed it. Understanding when we\ncouldn\u2019t talk. Listening when we felt ready to talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same friends who had celebrated with us mourned with us.\nThis is friendship, community, family\u2014Church<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our God was big enough to grant us a child\u2014a reminder<\/a>\nof His strength, His goodness, His love. In sharing our news with other\nbelievers, we were able to share that reminder with them, that they might\npraise God.    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our God chose to let us lose our child\u2014a reminder<\/a>\nthat this world is fallen, that it will never be truly right until He returns. By\nsharing our griefs with our church family, we share in that reminder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But our grief also carries a reminder of hope. The retelling\nof the book of Revelation in The\nJesus Storybook Bible<\/a><\/em> includes this description:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the King says, ‘Look! God and his children are together again. No more running away. Or hiding. No more crying or being lonely or afraid. No more being sick or dying. Because all those things are gone. Yes, they\u2019re gone forever. Everything sad has come untrue. And see\u2014I have wiped away every tear from every eye!’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Our grief is not forever. If we\nmourn together, we can together remember that God will make all sad things come\nuntrue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We mourn together as those who have hope<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Note: We found the following articles and book helpful during this time. Regardless of whether you yourself have experienced this pain, we encourage you to read through them for a better understanding of this issue and its place in the Church.<\/em>
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