{"id":2428,"date":"2019-02-14T11:30:08","date_gmt":"2019-02-14T19:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/elimefc.com\/elimblog\/?p=2428"},"modified":"2019-02-14T19:04:33","modified_gmt":"2019-02-15T03:04:33","slug":"when-friends-leave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elimefc.com\/elimblog\/?p=2428","title":{"rendered":"When Friends Leave"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By <\/em><\/strong>Dan Amos<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the newsletter comes out, it will be\nValentine’s Day. For two weeks, Fran has treated me to a daily paper heart with\na thing she loves about me. One of the things I love about her is she\nchallenges me when I need it. Recently she said, \u201cYou don’t have a lot of really\nclose friends you open up to, and you’re losing one of your best friends in\nMartin. How are you doing with that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn’t really have an answer to that,\nbecause I was avoiding the question as much as possible. It was easy to go into\nthe mode of \u201cWhat do we do next as a church to fill his position?\u201d That has\nalready taken a lot of time and energy of those on the Elder Board and surely\nthe staff, but just like everyone else, I have a personal reaction to Martin\nmoving on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I remember it, our first Sunday in 1994 was\nFather’s Day. Martin had been at Elim a couple of months at that point and was\nnot there that day. This is one of several things I haven’t let him forget. We\nmet soon enough, and he remembers taking me to lunch at a Taco Time near\nMcChord where I was stationed at the time. I’ll give him that one because I\ndon’t remember it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my first memories was a church picnic\nat his house out in Graham, and he introduced me to Rich Henderson and we were\nsoon part of their community group. Martin put a lot of energy into getting\npeople into CGs. We’ve been in one ever since and we led one for many years,\nbut we’ve never been in Martin and Kim’s group. Most of those really close\nfriends from our first groups have also moved on\u2014to the Philippines, Edmonds,\nMontana, Arizona. In the previous 10 years, we had lived on three different\ncontinents; now we’re the stable ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I guess that brings me to one of the first\nthings I’m feeling. I’m tired of my friends moving away. Just because family\nand opportunities are elsewhere doesn’t mean you’re allowed to leave. I know\nthat’s not rational, but it’s a feeling, so it gets to be irrational.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Martin forced me to learn to say no to the\npastor. He would call me (on the landline, because this was before cell phones\nand texting) and ask if I wanted to meet. It was usually at 7 a.m. on Saturday.\nThis was his prime time. It was my only chance during the week to sleep in, and\nI grudgingly said yes for a long time. But I learned to say no. We’d push back\nto maybe 9 a.m. It was still not my favorite, but it was a compromise. He later\nheard it forcefully from my wife at a CG leaders retreat where he wanted to get\nthings going at 8 a.m. on Saturday. She’d gone to a lot of trouble to get\nsomeone to stay with the boys for the weekend, and she wasn’t about to be up,\ndressed, and ready at 8 a.m. if she didn’t have to be. He changed the start\ntime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our boys are similar in ages and spent a lot\nof time together. They engaged in healthy property destruction, fortunately\nmostly at the Schlomer house. This gave us the need to talk about the mysteries\nof raising kids, boys in particular. They are such a wild card that you can do\nyour best putting into their lives, but what they choose to do with it is\nreally up to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All three of our boys came to know Jesus supported by the ministries of Elim. Luke was baptized by Martin in what is now the Shorts’ hot tub. JC and Di Williams lived there at the time. Nathan was very proud to put a rose in the cross made by Gene Davies signifying a new believer at Elim. Andrew was probably about the same time, but back then he didn’t like being up front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These memories are kind of all over the place, but that’s how relationships can be. Martin is my friend, and I am mourning the coming separation. He has been a big part of my adult life and a big part of my family’s growth. I imagine there are many who have similar feelings and are concerned about what is to come next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Jeff Foerster said, we have a big God who\nis not surprised by any of this. He is with us. Martin has invested in and\nempowered leadership for times such as this. We will calmly and deliberately\nfind the best man we can to fill the position of senior pastor. He won’t be\nMartin, but who is? He’s one of a kind.<\/p>\n\n\nViews – 465","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Dan Amos When the newsletter comes out, it will be Valentine’s Day. For two weeks, Fran has treated me to a daily paper heart with a thing she loves about me. One of the things I love about her is she challenges me when I need it. Recently she said, \u201cYou don’t have a … <\/p>\n

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