DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (Download PDF)
IDENTIFYING HOW YOUR FAMILY SHAPED YOU…
- Describe each family member with three adjectives and their relationship to you.
- Describe your parent’s relationship.
- How was conflict handled in your family? Anger? Tensions?
- How were gender roles and authority worked out in your family?
- How well did your family do in talking about feelings?
- How would your family describe you? How do you think your family thinks about you?
- How was sexuality talked or not talked about? What were the implied messages?
- Were there any family “secrets” such as a pregnancy, incest, or major financial scandal?
- What was considered success in your family?
- How was money handled? Spirituality? Holidays? Relationships with extended family?
- Were there any heroes or heroines in the family? Scapegoats? “Losers”? Why?
- What kinds of addictions, if any, existed in the family?
- Were there traumatic losses in the past or present, such as sudden death, prolonged illnesses, stillbirths/miscarriages, bankruptcy, or divorce?
- How was spirituality expressed?
- What are your dreams for your future? How would you like to see them different when compared to your past?
BUILDING OUR RELATIONSHIP
- When we relate together, I am happiest when …
- When we relate together, I am saddest when …
- When we relate together, I am angriest when …
- The best thing about our relationship is …
- I am most afraid when …
- I feel most lonely with you when …
- I feel loved by you when …
- My greatest concern/fear for our marriage is …
- What I like most about myself is …
- What I dislike most about myself is …
- What I like most about you is…
- My greatest concern/fear for you is …
- The feelings that I have the most difficulty sharing with you are …
- The feelings that I can share most easily wit you are…
- I long to connect with you spiritually by…
- When I think of relating with you spiritually, I feel…
- My dreams for our relationship are…
- I want to guard and build our relationship over the next 5 years by…